Archive for April, 2011

Dennis Peraman’s Message of the Week: April 25, 2011

Thank you, Dennis an Honor!

Catapults or Anchors

Dear Doctor:
Death is perhaps the most difficult and uncomfortable of the human experiences – it’s typically beyond us to express our feelings, to cope, and to make some sense out of such losses. Spiritualists conjecture on it — life after death or not, karma or fate, in a better place or just gone, the debate rages on because no one can ever know.
That’s why it appeals to me when someone addresses this necessary part of life objectively, and this happened for me last week when I received a link to the blog of Innate Girl, otherwise known as Dr. Martha Nessler of Springfield, IL, the reigning TMC Winners Circle Chiropractor of the Year. I always read Martha’s writing, but this entry was especially poignant, describing the loss of her own mother when she was only two years old. Look over her shoulder for some profound insight:
“I was finally at a point where I was able to look at my mom’s death for what it really was — a catapult and not an anchor — A catapult propels and an anchor holds you back. All events in our lives have the ability to propel us or hold us back — we allow what we consider “positive” events to propel us, and “negative” events to anchor us. I have pledged to find the positive in all situations whether or not I “feel like it” because when your mother loses her life to cancer at twenty-nine and passes four months after her diagnosis you realize that life truly is too short — The day I began to see my mom’s life and death as a catapult was the day that “we” began to live.
For me I believe people only die if we allow them, while they physically die their spirit can live with us – After dealing with my mother’s death — I decided that I would live my life for my mother and since that day my mother has been my “why”. Her death — drives me to educate the world about living a wellness lifestyle. My mother did all things considered “healthy”. She ate right, took vitamins, exercised, and was a peaceful fun loving person. But, my mother never had her nervous system assessed; she had never been checked by a chiropractor. My “why” is strong and it is my hope that her death allows others to live. I want to make sure that everyone is given the opportunity to live their life full out and that they and their loved ones are not cut short — In my heart, each person I educate takes a little piece of her spirit with them and through their life she too lives.
Death is hard and if we are not careful we anchor to the loss of a loved one and with their death a part of us dies. I have chosen to use my mother’s death as a catapult and have allowed her death to propel me into the life I was meant to live. I have – chosen to live for us both by sharing her spirit and story with the world. Through my mother’s death I have chosen to live and will continue to allow her spirit to live.”
I never knew Pamela Jean Murphy Nessler, but I can say this – she will indeed live forever in the efforts of this powerful young chiropractor to spread the word of health and wellness, and the ripple effect of generations to come who receive the miraculous healing benefits chiropractic is famous for. Only you can choose if the events in your life are anchors or catapults – nothing has any meaning but the meaning you give it. Develop your “why,” tell your story, and live a life of significance.
Dennis Perman DC,
for The Masters Circle
PS One-day seminars with Bob and Dennis in Seattle and Chicago this week – practical material you can use every day to build your practice, patient education, report of findings, public speaking, all new classes – please call 1-800-451-4514, or go to http://www.themasterscircle.com. See you there!

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Why Settle For Good? When There’s GREAT.

Dr. Martha’s Monday Morning Motivational

Monday, April 25, 2011

Why Settle For Good? When There’s GREAT.

The book, Good to Great by Collins, is one of my favorite books.  Not only is it an easy and enjoyable read, but also its message is simple yet powerful.  The book teaches us that good is the enemy of great and with even the simplest of changes we are able to go from good to great.  While, Good to Great is a business book; the book is applicable to life.  If you lead a life of purpose and a passion most likely your business is a HUGE part of who you are as an individual, intertwining life and business.

Like most people I want a great life in all aspects, well rounded so that all areas are equally balanced.  I’ve always been an achiever in all the aspects of life, wanting the best for my life, wanting a great life.  Dating back to grade school I always wanted to get the most of my education, social life, family relationships, and spiritual walk.  The same holds true today wanting a great life across the board and with aging I have added wanting a great life in the aspect of business and wellness.

There are times we look at others lives and say they have “a great life” but greatness is a personal experience relative to the individual.  The beauty of other’s opinions is just that that they are other people’s opinions.  I always appreciate when someone compliments my life but compliments don’t have to dictate that you have reached the top level for you, your successes and your level of greatness.   So many times we take a compliment as “stop” sign, telling us we have reached the level of greatness for any aspect of our life.  While we have only reached a level of greatness in another’s eyes, individually we must decide what a great life means to us.

Personally, I know that I have a good life and each day strive toward a great life. In my opinion a great life is not place you reach and become idle but rather something you constantly strive for because eventually great becomes a new version of good.  In order to never settle you must set the standard a bit higher.  Interestingly we transition from good to great and then great becomes a new level of good and we have to make the necessary shifts and set our standards to obtain a higher level of great.

Establish your version of great. Be specific and detailed, clearly defining what great looks like and feels like.  Set your goals and establish a path that will lead you to great. We all have the ability to have a great life; we just need to set our intentions and focus.  Greatness is available, wanting it is half the battle and creating the path is the other half.  Enjoy your journey from good to great and don’t let good old you back.  Here’s to us having a great life.

Love. Laugh. Adjust.
Dr. Martha Nesseler, Innate Girl

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When Death Becomes Life: How My Mom’s Death Became Our Life

When Death Becomes Life: How My Mom’s Death Became Our Life

In honor of Pamela Jean Murphy Nessler – April 19, 1982

When someone dies we are taught to say goodbye, mourn, and move on.  This has always confused me, how do you “move on” when someone has been such an integral part of your life.  I prefer to think of moving forward.

My entire life I have tried to gather bits and pieces of information on my mother in hopes of learning who she was and what she was like as a person.  Through my family and her friends I have been able to paint a picture of the person that she was and who she would be today.  I smile when I hear of her adventures and I cry when I am told stories of her sorrows.  I am especially touched when I find out that part of journeys were the same and even though we went through them at separate times in separate lives I feel a closeness to her that makes her feel alive for a moment in time.

I wasn’t always able to talk about my mom at my house.  It wasn’t something that my stepmother encouraged and it was something that was hard for my father.   It was a topic that was understood to be off limits although no one ever said it. When I was a child I didn’t understand why my dad didn’t want to talk about my mom but in aging has come wisdom and now I see that out of sight and out of mind somehow equates to less pain.  I have come to learn that death and the loss of a loved one is a very personal experience and each person must deal with the event in his or her own way.

Not speaking about my mother’s death meant I also knew very little about her life and that truthfully I had never dealt with her death.  When your mother dies at two years old everyone sort of assumes you don’t need to grieve.   They also assume you have no memories.  Neither one are true.

Personally, I have a few memories of my mother’s last days.  They were of the days she was in hospice, they are splotchy at best but they are all I have.  What I can say is that at two you see the world through rose-colored glasses so although my memories of her are of her in hospice and in the last days of her life they are not terrible memories.  I remember the excitement of the ride to go see her after four months away, her holding me and saying goodbye, and people smiling as I climbed in her suitcase by her hospital bed to say good-bye, her new robe was light green, and I remember being sad she was going to be with Jesus and we had just been re-united.  Across the board they are memories I treasure.  How do I remember at the age of two?  My family has always wondered but there were no cameras and as I said my mother’s death was something in my younger years we never discussed.  I’ve always had a good memory; I consider it God’s gift as it has served me well.

At the age of twenty-two, I finally came to the point where I began to deal with my mom’s death. It took great friends, amazing family, fantastic wine, and time.  By the age of twenty-six I was finally at a point where I was able to look at my mom’s death for what it really was and that was a catapult and not an anchor. Let me explain.  A catapult propels and an anchor holds you back.  All events in our lives have the ability to propel us or hold us back.  In my opinion it is more common that we allow what we consider “positive” events to propel us, and “negative” events to anchor us.

I have pledged to find the positive in all situations whether or not I “feel like it” because when your mother loses her life to cancer at twenty-nine and passes four months after her diagnosis you realize that life truly is too short and wasting time is exactly that wasting time.  Believe me its not always easy but it is always necessary.  The day I began to see my mom’s life and death as a catapult was the day that “we” began to live.

For me I believe people only die if we allow them, while they physically die their spirit can live with us for as long as we allow it to live.  For some allowing their loved ones spirit to live is too hard and is not something they can do and still live themselves and for others like me it allows them to truly live.  Choosing to live for us both has enhanced my life in many areas.

My mother lost her life at the age of twenty-nine and that is where her journey alone on this earth ended. After dealing with my mother’s death at 26, I decided that I would live my life for my mother and since that day my mother has been my “why”.  Her death is what drives me to educate the world about living a wellness lifestyle.  My mother did all things considered “healthy”.  She ate right, took vitamins, exercised, and was a peaceful fun loving person.  But, my mother never had her nervous system assessed; she had never been checked by a chiropractor. My “why” is strong and it is my hope that her death allows others to live. I want to make sure that everyone is given the opportunity to live their life full out and that they and their loved ones are not cut short of all this life has to offer.  In my heart, each person I educate takes a little piece of her spirit with them and through their life she too lives.

A small part of my mom’s journey is carried out through those I share my passion with but a huge part of her live through me and with me.  At twenty-nine, the age when she passed, I decided that I would live the rest of her life for her.  Each time I do something she wasn’t’ able to do, I do it for her, I do it for us.  I commemorated this decision on April 19th, 2010 by running the Boston Marathon and re-qualifying with my best time.  Since that day I have lived each day for us and that makes each day that much more special.

Death is hard and if we are not careful we anchor to the loss of a loved one and with their death a part of us dies. I have chosen to use my mother’s death as a catapult and have allowed her death to propel me into the life I was meant to live.  I have taken it a step farther and have chosen to live for us both by sharing her spirit and story with the world.  Through my mother’s death I have chosen to live and will continue to allow her spirit to live.

Love. Laugh. Adjust.

Dr. Martha Nessler, Innate Girl

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Four Years, Really? Wow! Time Flies When You Set Your Goals High

Monday, April 18, 2011

Dr. Martha’s Monday Morning Motivational

It’s hard to believe that Monday, April 18 2011 is the four-year anniversary of Optimal Chiropractic.  It seems like just yesterday I was standing in line with my classmates awaiting our hard earned diplomas.  Going back to that date, April 22, 2006, I know that there was no way I thought I would be where I am today.  Here I am five years after my graduation from Logan College of Chiropractic, running a successful wellness practice and I can’t help but remain in a constant state of gratitude.

I was thinking back to when I decided to open my own practice.  While it seems like yesterday it also seems like a lifetime ago.  I have accomplished so much in four years.  Prior to graduation I had planned to move to Colorado but through a chain of events and changes I was suddenly back in Springfield, IL where I had grown up living in my parents house and attempting to find myself.  After about five months, I remember my dad asking me if I was going to use my doctorate? I realized then that I had to do something because what I was doing, which was nothing, wasn’t enough and wouldn’t work much longer.  It was at that time I decided to open my own practice.

I am not really sure what I thought when I opened my practice.  I knew I had to do something, so something is what I was going to do.  We all eventually get to a point when we realize what we are doing isn’t working and come to the decision that we must do something different or we have the possibility of becoming insane.  Insanity, after all, is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results but doing nothing differently! By April 18, 2007 my office was up and running.

Lately, I have been reflecting over the past five years since graduation.  I feel like I have lived a thousand lifetimes.  I looked back at my five-year list, which I wrote in November of 2006 at the Lifebook Lounge in Chicago.  As I looked over the list I was awed, almost EVERYTHING on my goal list has been accomplished and I know without a doubt that I will cross the rest off by October and by 2012 will start the new year with the new list I have already began to create.

Setting goals is important and BHAGs, big hairy audacious goals, are even more exciting.  When I set my goals I wanted to reach 1000+ visits a month, be TMC chiropractor of the year, share my heart in front of 100’s of chiropractors, qualify for the Boston marathon and run my best time there on the anniversary of my mom’s death, and the list goes on.  Then they seemed intangible but I knew then what I know now if you believe it you achieve it.  So I set my goals and my intentions and began to speak in affirmations. As the days, months, and years passed I was able to reach goal after goal because I KNEW I would.

Today more than ever I am growing and I know that I am about to hit another tipping point that will propel me into my next five years.  Five years that will lead to more reached goals, more changed lives, more friendships, and more successes that put the icing on the cake of life.  I am so excited for what lies ahead and where I am headed.  I can always feel when change is near and currently the feeling is overwhelming, in a good way.

Thank you to every single person: family, friends, practice members, past and current staff, and colleagues who have allowed my dreams to become my reality. I am truly grateful that you chose to support me, believe in me, and be a part of my journey.  I am so honored that you have supported me and your continued support will allow me to continue to make my impact on the world. You are as much a part of this as I am!  Thank you and may God’s love bless you today and everyday!

Happy Birthday as well to my step mom, Elaine! I LOVE YOU! Thank you for adding to our family. You are a blessing and I love you for being a mother to me! I know my mom smiles and is honored that you chose to love us as your own!

Love. Laugh. Adjust.

Dr. Martha Nessler, Innate Girl

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Is the Love You Have Enough?

Dr. Martha’s Monday Morning Motivational

Monday, April 11, 2011

Is your level of love enough? Do you love otehrs enough? Do you love yourself enough? It’s hard to know.  Whether or not you love is usually not the question but do you love enough? When we love enough we are unstoppable but simply just loving may not be enough to create the necessary shift.  Love is powerful, it is the highest vibration and with it all things are possible.  Love almost makes us invincible.  So the ultimate question is do you love enough?

Get still and ask what yourself what you want.  If you are not where you want to be or you don’t have what you want then its possible you aren’t “loving” enough.  This is where you have to decide exactly what outcome you want and to get the outcome you may need to love more.  Love is interesting it actually creates motion because of its high vibration so increasing your level of love creates the necessary energy to create change.  Because love is a positive vibration, it creates positive energy therefore you get a positive change.  Positive energy enhances any situation.

So, do you love enough? Do you love yourself enough to say no as to create balance in your life? Do you love enough to tell the truth? Do you love people enough to tell them that the social norm is not what is best? Do you love someone enough to walk away or to push through the pain? There are a million situations where we can ask ourselves, “Do I love enough?” And if the answer is no then we must ask, “Am I willing to love more?” Only we can answer these questions for ourselves, no one can tell us to love more.  Love is intimate and emanates internally from each heart and soul individually.  Check yourself and ask, “Do I love enough?”

Love. Laugh. Adjust.

Dr. Martha Nessler, Innate Girl

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Would You Jump off a Bridge if Everyone Else Did?

Dr. Martha’s Monday Morning Motivational

Monday, April 4, 2011

As a child you may remember being asked, “Would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?” This statement was usually the response you received when wanting to do what everyone else was doing or having made a decision based off of your friends and not common sense.  Your response to your parents probably coincided with your personality or mood and ranged from: “No!” “Yes, I would.” “It depends on how high the bridge is…” or some other creative response depending on your level of sarcasm.  Regardless of your given verbal response the internal response was “No way! That’s a stupid question.” Whether or not you would jump off the bridge was meant to get you thinking.  It was more of a “use your head better” metaphor.

In my thirties, I find myself becoming more and more like my dad.  Making sure I get to bed on time, budgeting, running businesses, cleaning the house, being rational, and many other things that scare me for a second and then I realize maturing is a good thing.  Maturing doesn’t mean I am getting older but rather wiser.  I can stomach getting wiser!

One of the many things I realized today is that “Would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?” is more and more prevalent EVERYDAY in my life.  I decided recently it is the perfect rhetorical question to use as a response to get people to THINK! I haven’t started saying it YET but this May is about to be the start of yet another thing I do that my father does.  Thank God he turned out OK!

I am constantly educating people on the “what to do’s” in life.  And they are shocked! Because it is different than what they were taught by there MFTPs (mother, father, teacher, preacher) and different than what everyone else is doing.  The social norm to them is less scary but this is all perception because to me the social norm is scarier as it leads down the path of sickness, disease, poverty, and negativity.

There are a few things that I personally believe it is ok to take the option less frequently picked and not jump off the bridge with everyone else.  In my opinion, there are some choices that need thought, deep thought because making the choice that everyone else in the United States makes is pretty much jumping off a bridge.  Choices regarding Healthcare/Lifestyle, Thought, and Finances are probably the tallest three bridges with the shallowest water.

Healthcare, unless you live in a Redwood tree in California and are pretty much removed from society you know that our healthcare system is on a downhill slope and is headed NOWHERE and fast! Yet, people refuse to make any necessary changes.  They keep doing the same things they have been doing and expecting change.  The lifestyle choices we make play a HUGE roll in the decline of the American healthcare system.  The irony is that when recommendations are made to stop fast food, quit diet coke, eat live and healthy foods, get regular chiropractic care, exercise, stop all vaccines and the abuse of pharmaceutical meds there is hesitation.  Personally, I don’t get it. What the average person in America is doing is not working YET they continue to do it out of fear of being different.  Yet, being different would be being healthy, see the irony?  I have decided the perfect rhetorical question to use as a response for those who question advice on healthcare and lifestyle is simple “Would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?”

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Example:

Me: “I really think you should stop eating fast food as it has more negative than positive effects to the human body, is useless for nutritional purposes, and doesn’t decompose in landfills.”

Person: “Everyone else eats and they aren’t dead.”

Me: “They aren’t dead YET. Would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?”

Person: “Well no that’s a stupid question.”

Me: “Define Stupid Question?”

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Thought is another bridge above shallow water.  Many people live with the misconception that their thoughts are separate from their reality.  They have no idea that their thoughts DIRECTLY affect their reality.  That when their thoughts are positive, happy, full of joy, and affirming that their life is the same and abundant.  The same holds true of negative, dark, disturbing, dreary, negative past experience thoughts hold them back and rob them of a life of abundance, keeping them in their past.

We are always reminded, as children to choose our words wisely as to not hurt others because you can’t take words back once they are said.  The same rings true today, its imperative to choose our words and just as importantly our thoughts.  Realizing the power of thoughts allows you to begin to speak your life into existence.  Your words and thoughts should be catapults as opposed to anchors that hold you in your past or keep you from growing and progressing.  Speak wisely and positively, words and thoughts matter.

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Example:

Me: “Did you know you have the ability to control the outcome of your life by the words you choose.  For example, using loving and affirming words and thought will create a life that is abundant in love and blessings.””

Person: “Sounds like hocus pocus, everyone I know speaks like I do and they are fine.  Life is what life is what it is and something you have to do.  You are weird.”

Me: “That’s where we differ I see life as a “get to” and not a “have to” because I think it’s a “get to”! See the difference?”

Person: “I am sticking to what everyone else does makes more sense.”

Me: “You have that right, life is beautiful as it is your choice.  But, if everyone jumped off a bridge would you do it because that made more sense because they were jumping or would you step out of your comfort zone?”

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Just like most areas in our life finances are one that we learn from watching others whether family, people in our sphere of influence, or just society.  The irony is that the current model that we as Americans have is not working.  As a nation we are in debt and the average person is financially floundering.  The average American has multiple credit cards with outstanding debt, has a lack of savings and what they do have saved they have in an inaccessible location until a certain age or there are penalties.  To sum it up, most have no money and the majority of those with money have no control over their finances and their money is unattainable.  Financially they are out of balance.  Having one area out of balance throws all areas out of balance whether business, finances, relationships, etc… we must retain the intricate balance to have a solid foundation for growth.

There are so many things outside of the social norm that will allow you to obtain financial balance yet people are so afraid to step out of their comfort zone.  Creating a budget is the first easy step to make sure that you are spending within your limits and not living outside your means.  Placing 10% of your paycheck into savings and always having three months salary is a great way to feel secure because you actually have security.  Using a whole life insurance policy rather than the usual 401K allows you to over fund and still have money which is accessible if an emergency arises.   The aforementioned are some simple tricks of the many out there yet people are afraid to step out and forge a path that is different from society.

Many times I give them my friend Dr. Janice Hughes book, Inspired Wealth, to help them understand that while it is a road less traveled it is the road to financial balance. (If you want more info on her book let me know.) Jumping off the financial bridge with everyone else will be sure to land you in a pool of debt make sure you don’t follow the masses on this one!

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Example:

Me: “How is your financial situation?”

Person: “Oh you know robbing Peter to pay Paul.  Thank God for my 401K!”

Me:  “You know there a lot of little adjustments you can make in terms of your finances such as whole life insurance, monthly budgeting, and saving 10%, right?

Person: “That seems a little farfetched. I appreciate it but Ill stick with the way my parents and grandparents did it!”

Me: “I get your hesitation to try something new, but I do believe it is worth a try!  I mean just because everyone jumps off a bridge doesn’t mean you will, right?”

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Just like in your childhood the statement, “would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?” was meant to make you think about your own choices and not the choices of others the same holds true today! So, start thinking for yourself and realizing different can be good especially when it opens doors to an abundant future! Life is to be enjoyed and we are meant to live a life full of blessings.  God wants us to live our life full out and have an abundance of blessings and riches! We just have to believe that and be willing to make choices that separate us from the pack! Simply stated we have to be willing to not jump off the bridge when everyone else does!

Love. Laugh. Adjust.

Dr. Martha Nessler, Innate Girl

 

 

 

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